deliver us from weasels

Yesterday, my sister sent me an e-mail with a forward of this maudlin tribute to our great-grandmother written by my father's cousin, L. It was totally bizarre and ended on how we should emulate my great-grandmother by raising good christian children. My sister forwarded it to a couple of her friends, and me and my mother (who is not related to this woman) with the text, "the woman written about below is my great-grandmother." Um, no shit. She is my great grandmother too. To make things even more bizarre, L., the woman writing this, is the mother of the one known gay cousin I have. Her daughter is the one who is married to a man and claims to be a lesbian. It is all very strange because I know, in all of my biological family, homosexuality is not considered christian or acceptable in any possible way. But what I get from this e-mail is that my sister is still in some sort of wedding-induced fugue where she doesn't know that we are related and has no sense of irony.

Mwt and I were discussing this last night and we figure I will just ignore the e-mail -- it was sent to our joint e-mail account, so I guess my sister is OK with mwt knowing what a fruitloop she has become. Not sure what the point of it was.

But then mwt and I were analyzing the weird situation with L.'s children and how they seem like they are just trying so hard. And how the gay cousin migrated over to talk to mwt at the wedding as soon as he realized that she was the shunned lesbian everyone was whispering about. Both L.'s children were making all sorts of random claims of gay extravagance -- it was odd, to say the least. They were very drunk though, but mwt had this great insight into what it means to realize you are gay when you are still young and living in the rural south.

That gay cousin has no role models and thinks that being gay means he is automatically into all sort of deviant things. Like being gay is some extreme bizarre thing. Much like people who make the jump from gay marriage to people marrying turtles. When you are so detached from "gay culture" (whatever the hell that is), you don't know that being queer means nothing more than you don't want to partner with the opposite sex. Everything else is extra and not related to gayness at all -- at least that is my opinion. The deviance of queerness is created entirely by the culture that judges it and puts it in the category of every single thing that is not mainstream.

And mwt and I are proof that being us gay does not mean we are deviant. We are so incredibly boring. And I am certain my cousins were very disappointed. Sometimes I am. Well, not in my lack of deviance, but just how pedestrian my life can be. And how easy it is, once you accept that being gay does not necessarily mean deviant that you can relax into a semblance of normalcy. Until, that is, you have to go outside and face the masses. And be that representative for all "gay culture" that you have to be.

Which brings me to my other concern about "gay culture" -- the rumor floating around of a March on Washington in 2008. It was the headline and pretty much the sole content of the local gay paper last week and I have no idea if it is seriously being considered. But there you go. Another gay rights group I have never heard of proposing another gay rights action that may never happen. I am just not sure what to think about it. Now that we are giving money to our local gay lobbying group we are on everyone's list. The HRC calls and badgers us for money, but at least we have a relationship with them. As for the rest, I just don't know. What organization can really help us further the gay agenda? I am not really sure what the official gay agenda is. I want to get married. I want for me and mwt to start being treated like the couple we are. I want to feel safe and have laws written to protect us rather than prosecute us. But that is my agenda. And I know that is just a small piece of what needs to happen for gay equality. It is not just about marriage rights, it is about human and civil rights. And yada yada yada.

But I just don't know where to start. And I really don't think marching is the answer. And I know sending financial support is helpful -- but to whom? There are tons of gay rights groups asking for money and making all sorts of claims. Even in my own red state, there are many. It is hard to know what to do. I need a true call to action here. Any suggestions?